Blades1000

sorry i didn't post. I have too much to say. And i'm tired and don't feel like saying much so here it goes:

Friday, i spent the whole afternoon and evening with Lucy. In the afternoon, we practiced for Java Jive and Pie. In the evening, we went to my house and practiced for coffeehouse and talked.

Saturday, i left the house and bussed with my guitar down to Fairview. Met up with Lucy at 1 pm and spent the whole time shopping with her until 3:30ish. It was fun. Then we bussed to TCAC. We did a soundcheck and then went to eat viet. After, we had coffeehouse and then charis' mom drove us home. We talked on the phone after till about 2 am. We talked about a lot. I liked the day. I got to spend a whole day with Lucy.

Today, went to church. Rachel said i looked taller. Made my day. Went to pick up aunt and uncle. Then stayed home. I planned to work on my Extended Essay but that was a fail. I was too happy from yesterday to do work. So i ended up watching Boys Over Flowers instead. Love Ga Ful. Talked to Lucy on the phone from 11 pm to 12:30 am. She went to read The Great Gasby. So yeah. Now i'm posting.

If you want to know details, you gotta ask! :)

talked to jireh tonight. Gotta practice tomorrow with lucy. Maybe go to Jireh's church tomorrow. Hope lucy will be okay. :(

hey there.

I don't know what to talk about. There isn't anything to talk about...

Love you,

Me.

yeah... it's been a while since i last posted... so here comes another block of text!

Just finished writing my SAT on saturday... i only had like a week to study... also, had to finish editing my extended essay and everything so it was really like... harsh... Hence, i didn't get to post much. Why am i posting now? Because Evelyn told me to... basically.. haha. Yeah, i've been up lately, and instead of doing work, i've been like talking to Lucy... haha. But... i keep falling asleep on her... >.<... not a good sign.

Ohhh, i met these two twins at school, Claudine and Erica. Haha, they're like part chinese, part korean, part fillipino, and part "canadian"... epic... They C-Walk and they've been trying to teach me... LMAO. I fail.

I've been watching Boys Over Flowers. SO CUTE. LIKE OMG. btw, I'm totally in love with Kim So Eun. she's SO pretty... yes, i may seem shallow... but... SHE'S SO PRETTY. Shucks... love dramas...

We're preforming for Java Jive and Pie on thursday the 19th, and for Agape Coffeehouse on saturday, the 14th. YES THIS SATURDAY. Come join.

Yeah, i can't think of anything else. I'll try posting daily again... Toodles~~

sorry i didn't post last night. Too busy talking to lucy on the phone. :)

Well, lucy woke me up this morning... At 9:30. I ended up sleeping until 2. Haha. I worked on iop. I finished it. I'm basically going to wing the whole thing. I learned someday we'll know for lucy.

I like talked to june the whole day. Weird.

Didn't go trick or treating. But i DID start watching this korean drama. It's called boys before flowers. It looks decent. Fiona told me to watch it so i'm going to. :)

Dressed up as a gay guy yesterday. It was fun watching people's reactions.

We made it for java jive.

That is all.

My computer's being really slow... so if i post something today, it'd take me 5 hours just to write a paragraph. Sorry...

I've been scolded...
Grades aren't doing so well...
Haven't been in a good mood lately.

The kingdom is falling apart,
As I stand there, watching my life change.
Walls that I used to draw on suddenly crumbled,
Letting light come in, blinding me.
The king no longer represents God,
And I no longer know whom to believe in.
After the long journey on my quest for a lady,
I slew the dragon,
Yet I still can't reach the princess.
The knights of the round table,
Whom I were taught to be valiant and honourable,
Go off drinking with whores and prostitutes.
The hands of the peasants,
Which had been calloused by the hoe and sickle,
Now carry the blood of men.
Castles of marble and glass,
Are shattered by blacksmiths.
The golden crown, full of sapphires and emeralds,
Was being sold for money and women.
I walk down the streets of the marketplace,
Only to find the beggars on the curb
Begging for food while the dogs
Of the nobles feasts on silver platters.
Women were not people, but property
For men in which they did whatever they pleased.
Executions were not condemned
But were a means of entertainment
To the public.
Contests of murder were practiced,
Not for money nor justice,
But for pride and self glory.
Stories of angels and fairies were lost.
Myths of heroic knights remained as myths.
Boys were taught to fight.
Girls were taught to bear child.
And love became obsolete.
And I just stood there, letting my life change.

~CK

I want to  go trick or treating... anyone wanna go?

well... Today. I did worship on a team for the first time ever. It wasn't my first time doing worship, i've done it before. It was my first time worshiping with a worship team. Haha.

Did i talk about emmanuel? It was fun. We played monopoly. Which got interrupted and never ended.

Feasted today. I'm fat.

I talk to Cookie too much. Haha.

I don't feel like talking much. I realized that i only write a lot when i'm NOT on msn.

Oh. SHIT. I forgot to post yesterday. Fml. I ruined my streak. I was doing so well too...

tryout went okay. Lucy's sick so her voice was a little weird, and i was freezing. I couldn't play properly. I hope we get in though.

Lmao. I played starcraft on lucy's laptop during buyout. I haven't played in ages.

Worship practice tomorrow, then i think i'm gonna go to emmanuel. :)

That's it tonight.

Lucy agreed to do coffeehouse. So mark the 14th.

Oh gosh. Tomorrow. Is the java jive tryout. Then saturday, worship practice, then sunday, worship. Wow. I've moved from badminton to music. Haha.

Aw. Katrina, i hope you got over this. Don't do anything stupid. ):

Don't got much to talk about today. Nothing big is happening in my life except...

I love being around her. We spend so much time together... And i don't think it's helping my situation. She doesn't like me though... And in a way, i'm kind of happy. Cause at least she'll still spend time with me as a friend.

Rosemary wants me to play for Coffee Night. If I do it, i'm thinking of these songs... But i'll have to ask Lucy if she wants to join.


Lucky - Jason Mraz
greatest story ever told - Oliver James
Trip -Hedley
Stars - Switchfoot

Song Lucy and I want to do:

Stars (acoustic) - Switchfoot

Maybe I've been the problem
Maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself
The outcome feels the same

I've been thinking maybe I've been partly cloudy
Maybe I'm the chance of rain
And maybe I'm overcast
And maybe all my luck's washed down the drain

I've been thinking 'bout everyone,
Everyone you looks so lonely
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself

Stars looking at a planet
Watching entropy and pain
And maybe to start to wonder
How the chaos in our lives could pass as sane

I've been thinking 'bout the meaning of resistance
Of a hope beyond my own
And suddenly the infinite and penitent
Begin to look like home

I've been thinking about everyone
Everyone you looks so empty
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself.
Yeah!

Everyone, Everyone feels so lonely
Everyone, yeah everyone feels so empty
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I feel like myself
When I look at the stars
The stars

(we're doing a duet with Guitar. =))

Song that I love playing on the guitar the most:

Trip (acoustic) - Hedley

I am so not ready for History test tomorrow. And I did my Chem lab... Didn't do anything after that... my brain stopped working... Gotta bring guitar to school tomorrow to practice with Lucy. Gotta get to school at 8 to tutor... I'm slowly dying from insomnia.

Omg... It's 12:40... and my head's like spinning.... I just spent the last... 6ish hours... doing multiple subjects at once. Don't feel like posting much... I'll explain what I was doing though...

first... about 6ish... I was working on my English Assignment... While trying to calm down June because she was freaking out because she lost all her EE stuff... AND I was explaining things to Rosemary because she failed to pay attention in class and doesn't know anything... and she has a test tomorrow.

About 9ish... I started working on my Lab, I basically DID JUNE'S WHOLE ENGLISH ASSIGNMENT... which i must say is EXTREMELY good. Like... honestly, if she doesn't get a 100, imma spaz. It's actually like GENIUS. It like links the WHOLE book together. and I'm still helping Rosemary with her math.
It was about 12:30am that June and I finished her english Assignment, and i barely even finished half of my bio lab. I didn't even start doing my History stuff nor my Chem... and I'm still helping Rosemary... WOW. Like honestly... My plan to work failed... epically.

I'm too nice...

Okay. So well yesterday, i basically went to school... Normal. nothing really big.

Then i tutored Fiona. She has a test on tuesday. And like. She didn't know much. Yeah. She needs help. Haha.

Went home and learned Stars by Switchfoot. It isn't hard. The only problem is making a nice clear sound.

Went to all you can eat jap yesterday. It was good.

Today. I sat at home and finished my ee. I also tried working on Stars.

I win Evelyn. His name's ______. Ha. Now i won't forget. It's on my livejournal now. Beat that... She wouldn't let me put it up...

Gotta do laundry tomorrow, and i gotta work on bio lab, and chem homework, english assignment, and study for history. I at least finished my EE.

Talked to June . Haha i gave her an awesome idea for english assignment. She owes me. Haha.

Told Lucy that i finished learning Stars. We're trying out on Friday at 4. Wish us luck!

Church tomorrow. :) can't wait to catch Rachel sleeping in church again.

I started reading Hitman Reborn. It's cute. Haha. Omg Bleach. ichigo is coming! And he's super crazy strong! Ou and Naruto is getting interesting.

That's all i got today. Bye!

i'm too lazy to post a lot.

School
Tutor
Stars
All you can eat japanese

That's today. I'll explain tomorrow.

wow. Guess what happened today. I got scolded by Priscilla. A girl in grade 11. Why? For being lazy and not doing work and not trying in school. Well, i know that i don't try a lot. But i just don't know. I can't motivate myself anymore. I don't WANT to do anything anymore. It's like i gave up. I used to hate that about me. I always stop trying the moment it gets hard. It's the opposite of my mom. She was telling me today that NO MATTER WHAT, if her name was on something, she's do her best on it. She would make sure it's done to the best of her capabilities. Yeah, i didn't inherit that from her. I wouldn't bother. Even IF my name was on it. That's the sad part. I don't try. I became what i didn't want to be. I became useless. I lost all my drive for anything. How depressing.

Choir was fun. Messed around with Spencer and Mandy. Haha. We are constantly making jokes throughout the whole thing. I think that's why i'm not so annoyed by choir.

Lucy asked me about java jive and pie. She gave me the... "look". I agreed... Well, i thought about it. If we tryout, it's still not FOR SURE that we'd make it. Plus, we'd get free pie. The only problem. I have to learn it and we have to sound good. Another plus, it's LUCY. Haha. I teased her so much. It's fun watching her struggle.

Extended Essay due soon. I realized just now that i've been too pessimistic recently. I would be so depressing. I think i should be optimistic. I should start changing.

I have to tutor fiona tomorrow... Well i don't HAVE to. I choose to. Because mondays are killer for me. And like. I want to make sure she can pass her test.

Lucy rejected to do group 4 with me. Because i have bad work habits. Meh. I've changed. I realized it. I wouldn't mind doing work as long as i'm interested. If i'm not, i'd do it, just slower. So i have no partner. Great.

I need to start studying for History. Maybe i'll take Croswell's advice. I'll have so much to do over the weekend. I'm going to die... I mean. I'll finish it! I know i can.

I'm done studying for chem... Well i finished skimming my notes for chem. I'm going to sleep early. I was falling asleep in chem and english. I need to sleep earlier. I'll follow Evelyn's advice. :) night.

wednesdays are hell for me now. Right after school, i tutor Fiona. Then after that, jazz choir. Go home and eat. Then badminton. Killer.

Next week, i'm going to die. My agenda has a ton of like things next week.

Oh. I think i'll start marketing this thing for my mom. And i need people to test it out... I'm going to have to get Xenia. Great. I guess i DO have to talk to her.

Jazz choir wasn't so bad. I don't mind it so much.

Tutoring fiona was hard. Haha. She's like clueless. I started from the basic stuff. Lol. I told her that we're going to meet friday since like, she has a test next week tuesday. And like she's not doing so well in school.

Not much to talk about. Haha. I had my fun yesterday. Kay so that's it for today! :) light stuff.

Yes, well.. I'm actually posting at 5pm... which feels very weird. but i'm on my computer at least... okay. well.. here... i'm going to try and rewrite everything i wrote yesterday... basically... what i was doing was instead of sectioning it all into paragraphs by points, it's just going to be a  huge jumble... i'm basically not even thinking of the words that i'm saying, i'm just letting my thoughts spew out on this page... YES. IT EXPLAINS THE POOR GRAMMAR. THANK YOU. anyways... kay... well, i think i started off like this... umm.. i finished about 2957 words of my extended essay. it was killer like. you know. 3000 words of writing an essay WHILE researching. Killer. And the sad part is, i only finished my SUPER long intro and like... one point. so. in the end, i have 1000 words to write my first and third point PLUS conclusion. but at least i finished a lot right? Anywho. OMG. Lucy is so cute. LOVE HER. like honestly, such a fun person. Even though i like scolded her the other day. Oh, i realized the other day, that i'm like no longer close with a lot of people. Like Charmaine. I barely tell her anything anymore. I think i hid a lot from her. I don't talk to Natalie a lot either, ever since she started dating Billy, and Rebecca too. I think currently, i tell June almost everything. It's like... I'm no longer trusting MANY people, I like put it all into one person now. Which kinda is weird for me. No more late-night phone calls. Just like losing so many friends. I talked about Xenia too... like a lot... lets see... oh... how she's like one of those friends that I kinda lost and don't keep in contact with... Like... losing friends makes me so... confused... and I really don't need confusion right now... especially now... Oh, yeah I was talking to June about the girl I like and I feel very confused whether or not I like her. Why? Because... well... I've liked her for a while now, and like I realized that it just wouldn't work out between us two. June thinks it's cute, but like. what the hell... I like even planned to like ask her to prom and semi. I just don't think I can anymore... I just don't want to lose her as a friend. It would hurt too much. I'd rather hide my feelings forever than ruin our friendship. I was telling June: I think during a lot of times, i actually did like her, but i subconsciencly looked for other things in other girls that would make me like them in order to get my mind off of her. It's really sad. Like... I just don't know what to do... It would really hurt me if our friendship ended. Real heartbreak. Honestly, I don't think I was mad at Xenia out of heartbreak. I think it was more out of anger. But if THIS happened, I would really be depressed. I would seriously get depressed. Like... Listen to underground RnB constantly, you'd like REALLY see a change in me. Yeah, like compared to Xenia, that would be like nothing. Omg... yeah... guess what I found yesterday while taking a break from EE... I found two things. one: Xenia's convo with Samuel after he confessed that he liked her. Like... i realized from reading it that it was all clear then. Everything she said she hated is in that convo, and i kinda just ignored it and went my own way. Like I felt like crap.... UNTIL. Two: Charmaine's convo with Xenia when they had this huge argument. Yeah... Basically what happened was that Charmaine was all pissy one day and I was trying to comfort her... then she sent me a record of their convo... You know what? even to this date when I read it, i still think Xenia's at fault. And... it just kinda made me see the flaws in her again. I don't know. Like... when we broke up, she kept saying how she needed to focus on God. When I told other people who knew her this, they were like... wtf. Like honestly, there ARE people out there who can focus on God AND date. I found that so stupid. and like... if she really didn't want to get back together, then why did she even bother to tell me that she still liked me AFTER that whole stupid thing in March. Like. Why bother? I still don't even know why I still talked to her on her birthday. Stupidest thing ever. Yeah... you know... i barely even fully remember why I was mad at her though. there must've been A LOT though... enough to the point where i'd tell secrets to other people. that's pretty significant. Like... I'm usually one of those people who are amazing at keeping secrets and like pretend not to know anything, but if i was willing to tell secrets about a person, I must REALLY be pissed off at them. But like now. I don't even know why I don't just go up to her and talk. It's like... I want to but I don't at the same time. I think I should go talk to June... I recall telling her that this would happen in July and I think I told her to tell me something when this point DOES occur. I like... love that I'm a quick learner and stuff... but I hate how i'm so forgetful... Like... in JULY, I even knew what would be happening right now and i'd even plan to deal with this situation two or three months prior to the actual event. pretty freaky. I might go ask her sometime. Yeahh.... I feel like I need to talk to Rebecca... Like... I should tell her stuff... I just don't like that she's so different when she's around Stephanie. Like... It's weird though... Stephanie is like.,.. suddenly mad at me... then very nice... I just don't get it. Neither does Rebecca. I'm kinda scared to go to Chem and like history now because I don't know whether or now I can talk to Stephanie without being yelled at. Ouch... my wrists hurt from typing so much... Isn't that sad? I can text for 2 horus straight on my phone and not feel tired, but I type for an hour straight and my wrists hurt... well I think it's cause I was leaning on it... Wait..... YEAH. IT WAS. Haha. I love this autosave feature. If my computer ever crashed, it saves and I don't have to worry about retyping my work. Yeahh... This is a VERY long chunk of words. I don't even know who'll actually read this far... If you do, you're probably really bored, or like... got nothing to do... or actually interested... but i doubt it. Who likes READING my thoughts? Yeah... oh, Fiona's cute. Haha... But she got the song "fly with me" by Jonas Brothers stuck in my head. Haha... but at least I got to listen to her sing "you belong with me" by Taylor Swift. Yeahh... It's not even like a tutor-tutee friendship anymore... (: Don't worry, I never liked it as that kind of way anyways. I like having people I help comfortable with me... It's harder to teach when they're like scared of you or like... don't want to open up. She's such a fun person. (: Fluffy got nuttored today... =( I don't like it. We took away his manhood. I feel sad about that. You know... I haven't talked to Tiffany for a WHILE. I guess we just don't talk when it's not badminton. But even AT badminton, we don't talk much. Sucks. I miss talking to her. =( Yeah. I'm stuck in a dilemma. I've been wanting to learn how to C-Walk and like apparently there's this girl who is like amazing at it. And apparently she's cute too. Haha. I was talking to a friend about her... I was like planning to ask her to like teach me... There's only one problem... we found out she's like my sister's friend... VERY AWKWARD. I don't know if I should do it anymore... I might just like... be friends. haha... OMG. KELLY NG IS LIKE GORGEOUS. Well, I think she is... But... she's like... really really fobby and has a strong chinese accent and english is poor. Sucks... I would've totally dated her if she wasn't. Like. OMG. so gorgeous. Haha... Rebecca was telling me today how like. She thinks I have bad taste in girls. It's kinda funny. Everytime I'm like.. "GORGEOUS" she's like.. "I doubt it.". We just have different taste.... and mine is better (= I REALLY miss the first years. I wish i was born a year earlier... so that I'd be like with them now. They were so much fun... Too bad like... I only got to hang with them for one year. I'm pretty sure that when I go to uni, I'm going to ENSURE i hang with them a lot. wow... when i look at how much i typed, it's like.. less than last night (which i went into SO MUCH MORE DETAIL) but like it's still a lot. Kay... i gotta eat dinner... so I'm going to like... be right back... haha... it's not like you'd have to wait for me anyways. The beauty of literature? =) Wow.... You know those Costco roasted chickens? well.. i just had one for dinner... why? cause my dad's cheap and it was on sale... he bought two... we ate one... guess what we're having tomorrow? oh... Mom's friend brought home lobster. LIVE lobster... from P.E.I. =) I haven't had lobster in a while. I can't wait. (= Yeahh... I'm running out of things to think about... I'm pretty sure I covered the jists of everything I said yesterday. you know... just because you lasted this long, I'll give you a hint to who I like... (It doesn't matter anyways. I think everyone knows already. It's pretty obvious) Her name's been mentionned the most the past weeks. =) and I'm always happy around her. OKay? Well... That's all I'm going to post about... Oh, and just for fun, I decided to do a word count on how many words is in this... Take a guess.... Well... The results are in... and.... The number of words in this post after this last word is: 1754. =) (that's almost half my EE. Sad eh?)